Shouts of "Rubbish, Rubbish".

Ah! Christmas has just passed, bringing with it some memories (I was going to say from the past, but that would be redundant, one can't have memories from the future). I (the 'guide') remember the time when I had to dress up like some kind of Santa Claus and pretend to be 'Omar' in "Kismet". This, of course, means 'fate' but apart from a corn on my right foot me fate were fine. (I am part Irish). I am kidding about the corn, it was barley. Now that I am past all that sort of thing Christmas has become a thing of the past just like me but the stage is still in my blood so here I am waiting for the coach which will never come.